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30 August 2016 @ 04:07 pm
Happy Jun Day!  
Happy 33rd Birthday to Matsumoto Jun! 💜💜💜

I meant to write a short fic to celebrate his birthday. But, I ended up writing pages of fic and not finishing it on time.
This is not done yet. I have smut coming up~ *wink

Rating: PG-13 (soon to be NC-17)


He was our neighbour. He lived next door with his grandparents. Their family had a Chinese restaurant downtown and we often had our dinners there. Our parents were basically best friends. He’s just a few months older than me, but he always acted like an older brother. When we were kids, his brother will always mock him, that I was better suited as an older brother since I was more mature than him, and definitely smarter than him. He would sulk whenever we played together since me and his brother always made fun of him.

But, he was never mad at us. Even though, he sulked, in a few minutes he would be back to his cheerful self. He would come running whenever I got in trouble, even when in just a minute before he was shouting madly at us for making fun of him.

It was then. Now, it’s a different story. He hasn’t even text me back for months. Ever since I kissed him, the night he moved out his parents’ house.

It was Christmas Eve. His birthday. We were celebrating his birthday and Christmas that night with our family. It was also a farewell party for him since he will move out of his parents’ house the day after tomorrow.

After dinner, we were drinking at my parents’ house. His brother and my older sister buy a bunch of alcohol that night and basically told us to finish everything off. Our parents have their own party at his parents’ house. So there were only the four of us.

By 2 AM, my sister and his brother had trashed and left the two of us still drinking our last drop of alcohol. I saw that he was looking dazed already. Barely opening his eyes and his cheeks were rather flushed. “So, at what time are you leaving tomorrow?” I asked. He blinked the weariness from his eyes when he heard my voice.

“It’s pretty early, I think.” he screwed his eyebrow together, trying to remember the time of his leaving. “Will you be up by then?” he giggled. “It took you so long to wake up. Do you remember, once we have to actually pour water on your face to wake you up so you won’t be late for your entrance exam?”

“Yeah, yeah, I remember that.” I rolled my eyes. “You were practically dying to see it, weren’t you?”

He laughed. “I was not! It was just amusing to see you grumbling and your sister literally screamed at you for waking up late and grumbling.” I hit his forehead with the beer can and he laughed louder.

“Yeah, thanks to that I was awake the whole time during the examination,” I said, taking a sip from my beer can. “Are you sure you’ll be okay living alone?”

“What do you take me for? I can take care of myself,” He pouted. I shrugged.

“Well, you can’t even differentiate sugar and salt,” He kicked my shinbone. “That was you and Yusuke mixing up the label!” I laughed. After a while, he followed me, laughing. We were quiet for a while before I broke the silence.

“Are you seriously won’t let me know where you’re moving to?” I asked.

“Nope. If I tell you, it won’t be a surprise.” He winked and drained the last bit of his beer. “I will let you know on your graduation day.”

“Are you kidding? That’s still 3 months away.” I complained, “Do you plan on not seeing me for three months?”

He chuckled, “Of course not. I know where you lived, so I’ll be visiting you from time to time.” he said and he went quiet for a while. I watched he lowered his head and suddenly he looked up again. His eyes were a bit teary, he shook his head and smiled to me, “Are you going to take the job offer from that production company?”

“Yeah, it’s a great offer. They even provide us with training for the initial six months in LA.” I said, picking up the nut my sister prepared for us.

“And here you are complaining about me not seeing you for three months when you plan to live in another country for six months,”

“That’s why I want to see you for the three months before I need to leave,” I said giving him a not-so-subtle hint, expecting him to retort what I have said. But, he didn’t say anything. He was looking at the sleeping figure of our siblings. I almost wanted to hit his head for how dense he was.

He sighed. “By the way, our parents are sure taking their time.” he said completely dismissing my words. I hit the back of my head to the sofa.

“Yeah, they’re probably reminiscing about some of our embarrassing story,” I watched his sitting figure leaning against the sofa beside me. If I reached out my hand, I could touch his back. “Mostly yours,” I said. He turned to me and scowled.

“You seriously pissed me off, you know.” He pursed his lips, like he always did whenever he’s mad. “My father always said you’re such an amazing kid.” His eyes got glazed again. “He often praised you in front of us when you won or achieve something. Sometimes, I got jealous of you. But, you’re such a nice guy, so I can never hate you, hic.” He was starting to cry.

“What the,” I rushed to his side and he suddenly hug me and cried on my shoulder. “Alright, you’re drunk, stop crying,” I rubbed his back trying to calm him down. He always had an emotional rollercoaster whenever he was drunk.

“Even though you always make fun of me, you always come to my aid whenever I’m in trouble.” He said again between sobbing.

“Okay, okay. I understand, so stop crying,” I know he was drunk, but I can never handle it when he cried.

“I know I must have annoyed you so much. Do you hate me?” He looked up to me with teary eyes.

“Idiot, of course not!” I said, pinching his nose.

“Ouch!” he exclaimed and he smiled. See? A rollercoaster. “Yokatta!” He let me go, much to my disappointment. “Tomorrow we should try the new pancake shop!” He said, “We can go with Yusuke and Megumi-chan.” He was trying to grab another can of beer when I took the can away from his reach.

“Hey! I am going to drink that!” He said reaching for the beer in my grasp but I moved it farther.

“No! You’re drunk already, so stop!”

“As I thought, you actually hate me, right?” and he started to cry again. Sometimes I just want to punch him in the face for being so stupid. “Even though I will miss you a lot, I bet you will be happy leaving me to LA.” he was practically crying his eyes out. I was worried that our siblings would wake up. Or worse, our parents heard him crying. I was sure that my father will skin me if he thought I made this guy cry.

“Just what the hell are you blabbing about?” I pulled him into my arms again, trying to muffle his cry in my shoulder. “Of course I will miss you too. Didn’t I say that I don’t hate you?”

“But you’re so popular. You will be surrounded with more cool friends than me! And you’ll forget me!” He sobbed harder. I cupped his cheek.

“Stop talking like that!” His face was wet with tears; he was hiccupping with how much he cried. “Look at your face,” I said, wiping his tears. “I won’t forget you,” I said, gently stroking his cheek. “That’s still three months away anyway. That’s why, you better let me know your new address.”

He hiccupped, but he gave me a smile. “No,” he shook his head, “Told you it’s a surprise!”

“So stingy!” I said, still holding his cheek, allowing myself to observe his expression closer. His eyes glimmered. His rollercoaster sometimes was worse than a pregnant woman.

“You’re so gentle,” he said, leaning against my palm. He closed his eyes. I watched his lips turn into a gentle smile. His eyelashes were long and wet with tears. I could see every drop of tears hanging between his eyelashes. “Your girlfriend is so lucky to have you.” He opened his eyes and I felt how wet his lips when it touched mine. I felt his body stiffened beside me.

I didn’t know what drives me do that at that time. Maybe because I’ve been waiting for so long. Maybe because he was leaning against my palm. Maybe because he was closing his eyes. Or maybe it’s everything about him.

I didn’t how long has passed since I tasted his lips. I heard my heartbeat drummed in my ear, so loud that I couldn’t hear anything. I was afraid to open my eyes. I was afraid to see his expression. I was afraid of letting go of this moment.

But then, he hiccupped. I pulled his face away. I saw another jets of tears started to stream down his face again. My chest tightened. I remember that it felt so full, it was ready to burst. It still feels full.

And without saying anything he stood up and left my house. I sat there, unable to move my body. I could still feel his wet lips against mine. But, his tearful face was still imprinted in my memory. That his eyes rounded, shocked and full of tears. All my thoughts were stopped. I couldn’t think about anything anymore.

After that, I didn’t meet him anymore. That Christmas, he went out the whole day with his parents. Though I was waiting for him to come home, his parents returned without him. When I asked them where he was, they said that they would help him keeping his new apartment a secret from me. They didn’t suspect anything happened between us and I didn’t intend to make them worried.

I tried calling him many times, leaving hundreds of messages and emails. But, he never replied. I tried to coax his brother, but he too said that it was a secret, that it will ruin the surprise. I could try harder, I could find his address, I even know his working place, so if I want to meet him, it won’t be so difficult.

But, half of me is still terrified to face his reaction. What if he hates me for kissing him? What if it disgusts him that it is the reason he doesn’t want to meet me? But another half of me misses him so bad that I feel it would be fine even though he rejects me.

When it was time for me to leave for LA, I was kind of relieved I finally found an excuse for not meeting him. It was a month earlier than expected. So, I didn’t even attend the graduation ceremony. The day he said he would let me know his address.

I had been in LA for a month when my graduation day arrived. My family took a photo of all my classmates and basically partied with them when I suffered with all those trainings and new custom. And out of characterly, my sister sent me a pair of suit which reminded me so much of him. She said she overheard our conversation one time about which suit we’d like to use for our first job.

At that time, I said I would like a black suit with white shirt and green tie. But, he said I would look better in purple tie. I don’t even understand why he chose purple at that time. He only said, “I love seeing you with purple accent,”

I kept that suit in my closet, not even wearing it at the day I have completed my trainings and we went to the HQ in LA. I took a picture of it the day I received it and sent it to him saying that I want him to be the first person to saw me wear this suit.

Months have passed since the last time I saw his face. I am back home now, after 6 months away. After six months running away from the reality that might be so bitter that I’m afraid to embrace. I turned my phone on and just by habit checking the last mail that I sent to him this morning which says that I will return today.

I look around the waiting room, it’s not that I expect him to turn up, but I can’t help it. To be honest, it’s only because the hectic schedule of my training that I’m able to hold my longing towards him. Knowing that he might be here hating me.

I sigh. Of course he won’t be here. I went back to my apartment feeling disappointed. I was half hoping that he will forgive me once I returned home. My phone buzzed and kinda got my hopes up, but it was my mother asking me if I have landed.

I called her while waiting for the taxi. She sounded so relieved and I can almost see how she was holding her tears up. “Yeah, I’ll be home tomorrow. I need to drop my stuff in the apartment,” I said, as the taxi drove away to my apartment. We talked all the way to my apartment before it seems like someone snatched my mother’s phone away.

“Jun!” It surprised me so much that I have to pull myself away from the phone. “Come home now so we can celebrate your birthday!”

“You don’t have to shout,” I grumble and my sister scold me again for grumbling. “Speak properly!” she shouted again.

“I’ll be home for dinner tomorrow. I won’t come earlier. And I can’t stay overnight since I have things to do the next day. Why are you home anyway?” I said before she could say anything.

“You’re no fun!” she screamed and the phone is back to my mother’s hand. “I think she was planning something,” I said to my mom. “Please don't let her give me any surprise tomorrow,”

My mother only laughed and said I have to expect something indeed. I hate my sister’s surprises. She always pulls some stunt for my birthdays and they’re mostly an embarrassing experiences.

I was saying goodbye to my mother when the taxi pulls over to my apartment. I moved to this apartment right before I went to LA. My sister introduced me to the owner of this apartment and I fell in love instantly with the neighbourhood. It is a 1LDK, the rooms are spacey, and the balcony is the best. I can see the town in the morning and night, it was utterly beautiful.

I only stay for a week and left for LA. When I get in the room, it is clean. So, I guess my mother come over and cleaned up for me. I threw my luggage to the store room. I’ll unpack it tomorrow. I hang my jacket and put all the stuff in my pocket on the dining table. I sighed and leaned against the sofa. Stretching my legs as far as it could go.

I feel my body is all stiff. 12 hours on the plane is no joke. I was asleep half of the time though. I stand up and checked the bathroom, deciding that a hot bath will be blissful. It was clean. My mother is being thorough in her cleaning. I looked at the mirror and see how messed up I look. I definitely need a bath.

While filling the bathtub with water, I glanced at my watch. It is still 7.30 am. LA time. I walked out the bathroom and reaching my phone on the table. The time and date have changed automatically to Tokyo time zone. It is 11.30 pm already. It’s late but I still feel energized since my body clock is still following LA.

I walked to the kitchen, checking the fridge. Mom filled it with juice, milk, and her homemade food. So, I guess, she was here this morning. I opened the food container to find some onigiri which actually doesn’t look like what mom usually makes. I grabbed an onigiri and a glass of juice.

I checked the bathtub and it’s only half-filled. I sit on the dining table and bite my onigiri. Mm, yeah. This is definitely home. Being home makes me think about him again. He usually made me an onigiri too when our parents were not home. His onigiri was not extravagant with different kinds of topping. It was only a plain onigiri wrapped in seaweed. I looked at my onigiri again.

This is exactly what he would make at that time. I feel my heart beats faster. No way, right?

I feel restless and I need to know. I ring my mom. It took her a while to pick up. Of course. It’s almost midnight. Just when I’m about to hang up, someone pick it up.

“Are you okay?” it’s not my mother, but my sister.

“Ah, sorry. Is mom already asleep?” I asked, scratching my neck. I started passing in my dining room.

“Yeah. What happened? You sound nervous,” my sister said, worried.

“No, I’m fine. I just want to ask something,” I said, staring at the onigiri.

“What?” she asked. I got quite for a second. What I’m about to ask is just absurd. I mean, it would be my mom. “Come on, what? I mean, there must be something disturbing you that you call mom at this hour.”

I feel my face hot. I’m thankful that she’s not here to witness it. “No, it’s just. Did mom come over and clean my apartment?”

“Huh? Yeah, we also went this morning. Did you find the food that we left? I helped, you know,” she said. I feel the pang of disappointment. Of course it’s not him.

“Yeah, that’s what makes me wonder actually. Mom’s onigiri is kind of different,” I said, taking another bite of it.

“I made that!” she said, “Of course it’s different,”

“You can cook now?” I said in disbelieve. I heard her clicking her tongue.

“You’re always underestimating me,” I can hear her disdain in her voice. “Is that all you want to ask?”

“Yeah,” I drink my juice and went to the bathroom and turned off the water. “I’ll see you tomorrow, night.” I said and hang up the call after she said good night. I stand still for a minute. Staring blankly at the bathtub.

So it’s not him.

I kind of want to drown myself in the bathtub now.

I never realized how much I miss him until I’m home. It’s like he was no longer out of reach. Like he was still my next door neighbour and I can just ring the doorbell to his house and embrace him. I feel my chest clenched with all this longing.

I wrapped a towel around my hip and drained the tub. I watch my reflection on the mirror, I cut my hair short before I went back. He would probably fuss if he saw this, he would say that it made me look too young and he felt old even though he’s just a year older. He just doesn’t know that people always said it was the other way around since I’m the mature one.

I was opening my cupboard when I heard something fell outside. I freeze and listen further. There are voices outside like someone is moving carefully. I can hear their footsteps and another thing fell. What kind of thief make this much sounds? I grab the scissors from the cupboard and tiptoed outside. Someone is in the dining room, rustling and moving around.

I get into the room as quietly as I can. The guy is moving my things from the dining table. He is setting up something. I hide behind the bookshelf and slowly moving behind him. He is pretty lean so I won’t have any problem to take him down. He also doesn’t seem to have any weapon on him. He wore a navy blue pants with a green sleeveless t-shirt. His feet are bare. I creep closer and that’s when I see the birthmark on his shoulder. I can’t move an inch. My heart beats crazily, I seem to lose the ability to breath.

He knocks something off the table again. It rolls towards my direction and he turns. He looks like as if he’d seen a ghost. “That surprised me.” he whispers. “Oh my God. What to do? Megumi-chan said you’d be sleeping,” he says, panicking and drops another thing that I notice as candles. I watch him picking it up and bumps his head on the table.

I can’t say a word. I watch every single move he makes. The way he cringes to the pain at the top of his head, the way he rubs it to soothe the pain, the way he seems to be looking for an escape. I see that he also has cut his hair short. I always love it when he cut his hair short. I love looking at his nape and wonders how it feels to kiss it.

He is still standing there awkwardly, worrying his bottom lip. I take a step forward and he takes a step back. I take another step and he also takes a step back until his back hit the dining table and there’s only small gap between us.

I feel the heat emanating from his body. His bottom lip is red from his worrying. His cheek is slightly flushed. His eyes looking to right and left, avoiding my eyes, or avoiding me.

“Umm, J-Jun-kun,” he stammers. I raise my right hand and slowly tracing his cheekbone with my fingers.

“You feel real,” I mumble, stroking his cheek when he doesn’t pull away.

“Huh?” he looks at me confused. I raise my left hand and cup his face. He starts to panic again and grab my wrist.

“Huh?” That’s when I snapped out of my trance and actually see him. “Eh? What are you doing here?”

“Um, I --, “ he tug at my wrist again but I don’t intend to let him go. “I - I was preparing something,” he whispers. With much difficulties I glance at the dining table. There it was, a cake, obviously a homemade by the way some of the words are smudged. Welcome home and happy birthday.

It feels like my heart will burst in a second.

“I was going to leave after this since Megumi-chan said you’d be sleeping,” he mumbles. I turn to him and stare at his face for a moment.

“Why?” I ask.

His eyes darted from left to right, struggling to find his word. “Um, I’m not ready to meet you,” he says softly. I feel the heat creeping up from his cheek, warming my hands.

“Why?” I whisper. Our breath clash and he can’t avoid looking at me anymore.

He doesn’t seem to want to answer my question. I took another step that the gap between us is just a mere centimetre away. “Are you not mad at me anymore?”

He shakes his head, surprised. “I’m not mad at you,” he says gripping my wrist again, trying to make me let him go.

“Then why you never see me after I kiss you?” his face flamed and he struggle, shaking his head, determined to escape from my grasp. But I don’t let him. I won’t. I grab both of his arms and hold him still between my body and the dining table.

“Why?” I ask again. He hesitates, again worrying his bottom lip. “Why, Masaki?”

“Because it’s embarrassing, idiot!” he cries out. I step back, surprised, by his sudden cries and by what that sentence implied.

“Huh? So it’s not that you’re mad at me, that’s why you didn’t want to see me?” I can help the glee fluttering on my stomach. “You’re embarrassed?” I said, “By my kiss?” his face flushed red again.

“You don’t have to repeat that!” he said, covering his face with his hands. The warmness that I feel in my stomach spread through my body and I can feel smile starts to grow on my lips.

“You’re so embarrassed that you can’t even see me? Don’t you miss me?” I asked again.

“It’s not like I can’t see you, I saw you all the time before you went to LA -- “

“What? How?” I look at him, confused while he looks like a cat got his tongue.

“Ah, n-no..” he stammers. “Gosh, this is so embarrassing,” he mumbles. I grab his arms again and pin it on the table.

“I won’t let you go until you spill it,” I said. He yelped.

“You notice that you’re still half-naked, right?” I glanced down. I completely forgot that I’m just finished with my bath and basically wearing nothing but the towel around my waist.

“Yes, and?” I raised an eyebrow at him, “Doesn’t mean I’ll spare you the question, though.”

He looks kind of horrified and in a horrid voice said, “It’s... distracting,” which makes me want to laugh. I really missed him.

“Try harder, then,” I smirked, starts caressing his right arm. He shivers, completely distracted which makes me want to tease him more. “Come on, start spilling,” I said. He is gripping the edge of the table; it turns his knuckles white.

“Don’t do that,” I said, prying his hands off the table. I can feel I’m losing already. “You’ll hurt yourself,” In replace of it, I tangle our hands together and he blushed harder. He brings our tangled hands to his face, completely embarrassed.

“God, you’re so embarrassing,” he murmurs. I smirked.

“Do I?” I kissed the back of his hand. He tensed. “You are,” he said and push our hands towards me. “So, what is it?” I still continue prying to his secret.

“You’re so persistent!” he yelped when I start pulling his hands away from his face. “Fine! I was visiting my parents a lot and stayed until you come home. But, I always make sure that you don’t see me and my family won’t say it to you,”

“Why? I want to see you so much. You never replied to my messages, I thought you hate me,” I said, cannot help showing the pain that I felt for the past few months. Hearing this, he lowered our hands and looking apologetic.

“I…” he let my hands go and put his hand on my cheek. “I thought I will see you once I’m ready. I thought about seeing you on graduation day and surprise you just the way I wanted to initially. But then, you went to LA and I can’t talk to you through text or call. I need to see you face to face,” he said softly while caressing my cheek.

“But you still sneak into my apartment while thinking that I’m asleep?” I raised my eyebrow, trying to ease the tension.

“Well, that’s because I want to give you a surprise,” He pouts. “But, Megumi-chan blew it off,”

“She knew that I’m not asleep, though. I just called her before I took the bath,” I said.

“What? Then, she said that you’re asleep on purpose?” he looks at me disbelievingly.

“And she definitely knew that I won’t be asleep. I just returned from LA and my body clock is still at 8 am now,”

“Megumi-chan!” he bellowed. I put my hands on his waist. His eyes widen. “You--”

“Don’t try to run away again,” I tighten my hold on his waist. “I guess she doesn’t want to say this cake was also hers. I mean, it’s already hard to believe that she made the onigiri, let alone a cake, as lousy as it looks,”

He is about to say something denying my claim, “Yeah, I also know it’s you who put the onigiri on the fridge. I mean, the onigiri is so you, that I have to call my mom late at night just to confirm that it was hers. I was so disappointed when Megumi said she made it.”

“So you knew it was me?”

“It just that eating onigiri reminds of the time you made onigiri every time our parents were away. Don’t you realize that the way you made it is exactly the same as those times?”

He looks at me dumbfounded. “It was a long time ago, how can you remember little things like that?”

“Because it’s you,” I said, “I miss you so much. Even though that you said that you’d miss me, but you actually didn’t miss me at all, do you?”

He grins sheepishly. “I still miss you, though, but not as much. That’s because you always send me emails. Lots of it, and I feel like I was there with you.”

“I probably shouldn’t have sent you any emails so that you’d feel how painful it was to miss you.”

He looked hurt, “That’s mean.”

I nuzzled his nose, “Do you think I could ever do that?” he closes his eyes, letting me pull him closer. “Look at how many emails I’ve sent you even though you never once replied any of it,”

He smiles and slowly it becomes chuckles. He opens his eyes and realized how close our face is. I feel his soft breath hits my lips, his cheek gets brighter each passing second and I see how our eyes reflect each other eyes.

“So, can I kiss you now?” I whisper softly, looking closely at how his eyes flutter almost closing. “Will you run away again?” he chuckles again.

“You ask too many questions,” and he kisses me.

Yay! The smut is still on production. It's OOC, of course. So bear with me.

Love you, All!
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